“Sorry, I Can’t Hear You Right Now” (Our Infatuation with Devices)

I’m not sure how long my husband had been rambling on about something happening in the news until I pulled my earbuds out and caught the tail end of “…and if it passes, you know they’ll be rioting in the streets.”

Was he talking to me? 

I’d been sitting nearby listening to a podcast on my iPad. Fortunately, we had discussed the news story he was referring to in social studies class that day, so I caught up real quick. “Well, honey, this world is only going to get worse,” was my lame response. Although I felt guilty for not telling him I’d missed the first part of his diatribe, I never admitted my deception. (Of course, the cat is out of the bag when he reads this post, but he loves me anyway.)

Talking to Myself?

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought someone was rude when I chirped “Good morning” to them during my walk and they ignored me – only to spy the thin cord snaking from under their sweatshirt up to their ears.

When my kids were teenagers, how many countless times did I drive down the road, barking out orders for the day or carrying on a one-sided conversation, before noticing the silence in the car? A glance in the rear-view mirror revealed heads bobbing to music streaming via buds plugged in their ears.

They hadn’t heard a word I’d said.How Can We Be So “Connected” Yet “Disconnected” at the Same Time?

We pride ourselves in being master multitaskers. But, unless you’re a skilled lip-reader, we can’t even pretend we’re communicating when your music playlist is louder than what I’m saying.

We’ve even upgraded to wireless headphones –  like Apple AirPods – which simply means that we just can’t see the invisible umbilical cord that attaches you to a device.

Productive communication has downgraded into telepathy where we struggle to clarify inferences in internet slang like FWIW (for what it’s worth) and WYWH (wish you were here). Let’s not even talk about trying to interpret emojis in text messages.

I once walked by someone in a store and heard them say something along the lines of, “I don’t want to discuss this anymore—we’ll talk about it later,” with only the two of us standing there. We hadn’t been discussing anything. If I hadn’t done a quick scan for the telltale Bluetooth earpiece, I’d have marked her as a psycho and jetted to another aisle. 

Are We Really “Hanging Out”?

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been in a room full of friends “hanging out” and exchanging small talk while their eyes are fixated on smartphone screens. Not exactly quality time. Just sayin’…Remember how we used to play Yahtzee and Scrabble with real game boards and a bowl of popcorn on the table, without a cell phone in sight? How many of us play the game Words With Friends on our devices and most of the people we play with aren’t even our friends? In fact, we have no idea who they are.

Find Opportunities to Be “Unplugged”

We’re so addicted to our devices that statistics claim most young people spend more than 7.5 hours a day on them! How we find screen time more satisfying than eye-to-eye contact and physical conversation is beyond me, but who am I to judge?

Between my iPad, iPhone, and Apple Watch, I could almost avoid ever raising my head to look at anything – or anyone. I can simultaneously converse with customer service in Bangkok in a chat window, reply to an email from my boss, and listen to Fox News – all while sitting next to you on the couch. And…we never say a word to each other.

Want to know something even more pathetic? I’ve sent a text to my kids before telling them dinner is ready rather than walking down the hall to call them. Ouch…

Maybe you’re with me on this, maybe not…

Let me share this eye-opening TedTalk, Connected, But Alone?

In the video, Dr. Turkle speaks about how we are losing meaningful connectedness with each other because of our addiction to our devices. (You can thank me later.)

Time to get off my soapbox and practice what I preach.

Perhaps I’ll go talk politics with my husband—his favorite topic (major eye roll here). Still, we WOULD be connecting and communicating while actually looking at each other (no…not FaceTime either) which is what relationships are all about, right?