Not All Dreams Come True… (and that’s OK)

 “All of our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”

(Walt Disney)

I disagree with this quote.

Several years back, I decided that I wanted to tap into my more artistic side. I bought a set of high-end drawing pencils and some inspiring-looking watercolor paints on a whim. A sketchbook and artist brushes were thrown in to make it more official.

I should point out that I can’t even draw stick figures without someone mistaking them for a poor rendition of hieroglyphics. Who was I kidding?

In the end, I had filled up half of my sketchbook. I had managed to sketch a few interesting birds, a tree I admired at work, and a few Zentangle bookmarks. However, that was the end of it. As a result, my career as an artist was over as quick as it started.

Could My Dream Job Be in a Kitchen? (Nope…)

My old neighbor was an awesome cook. Together, we would try new, exotic recipes. We even joked about hosting a cooking show together (with her doing all the cooking, of course). She unleashed her creativity in the kitchen with flour and grease that reached from ceiling to throw rugs. Dirty dishes and utensils were tossed on top of the teetering pile already in the sink as she happily created her masterpieces.

I, on the other hand, stood nearby with a nervous twitch in my eye and was nearly hyperventilating at the mess accruing on the counters. I offered to “clean up a bit” while she worked. She wasn’t interested. She replied, “Nah, that can be done later”, punctuating each word with a cake-battered spoon thrust in my direction.

After several more cooking attempts together, I knew a flour-fogged kitchen was not in my future.

What Dreams Do I Have For My Life?

I was at an impasse. I knew I wanted to do something important, to feel valued for my contribution to the world. The problem was, I couldn’t figure out what I was good at, where I could feel successful.

We have always been told that you can be “whatever you want to be”. That there are no boundaries on where our dreams can take us.

In elementary school, our teacher asked what we wanted to be when we grew up. I don’t recall any kids saying that they wanted to be a garbage collector or a crime scene cleaner. The predictable answers were athletes, actors, doctors, and – for the kids with more active imaginations – Marvel super heroes.

But…what if you can’t catch a ball to save your life or pass out cold when you see blood? Should you, realistically, still apply for medical school or try out for the football team? Furthermore, what is wrong with being a garbage collector anyway? Nothing. Exactly my point.

That’s not how we think though.

We have been programmed to believe that aspirations in life fall into one of two categories: popular and unpopular.There’s a certain amount of pride in being the center of attention on the football field where everyone admires you. Does everyone get that moment in the spotlight just because they want it?

Does Nike’s slogan, “Just Do It”, give the impression that we can chase a dream, work hard enough at it, and success is guaranteed?

That’s the current mantra that seems to be heralded in our society. Sadly, its echo filters down to even the youngest of our generation.

Not All Dreams Come True

What if you don’t get the spot on the team or you lack the talent to be a legendary singer? Does that label you a loser? Do we choose what we really want or follow the expectancies of what others have dictated as the “better road”? Do we spend our life seeking the applause of others as our motivation? What happens when there are no more accolades and the audience falls silent?

Do we adjust our sails in a different direction just to gain their approval again?

I know many will disagree with me on this, but here it is:

“It’s OK to be last place in the spelling bee.

Only one person wins the gold medal in the race.

If you don’t get picked for the team – move on.

Period.”

Learn From Failures

Failure can have benefits. Either it wasn’t meant to be or you stop and evaluate what went wrong and correct it. Think about your weak areas and how you can make them better. If you never experience defeat and think you will succeed just because it’s your dream, you’ll never discover who you really are.

Just the fact that you TRIED makes you courageous in my book. However, sometimes you have to read the writing on the wall whether it’s the message you want to see or not.

Step Back and Reassess Your Dreams

That’s what I had to do. I can cook a few appetizing Italian dishes, but being creative in the kitchen isn’t my thing. (Besides, I’m too obsessed with cleaning up – remember?) My art supplies are shoved in a closet somewhere – never to see the light of day again.

And, I’m OK with that. My talents lie elsewhere.

One of my favorite children’s books is You Are Special by author Max Lucado. I love the main character, Punchinello. In the book, the townspeople – called Wemmicks – run around sticking either ugly gray dots or bright gold stars on each other’s chests based on how pretty or talented each Wemmick is or isn’t in their opinion.

It was a great honor to walk around with flashy gold stars and, well, you can guess what having gray dots felt like. Punchinello was unfortunate to be chosen to bear ugly gray dots. He lived under that burden of how others valued him.

Punchinello had a friend named Lucia. The dots or stars others put on her never stuck – they just fell off. Why was this? Because Lucia cared more about what God thought about her than what others did.

Just Be You

I am still figuring out “what I want to be when I grow up”. Sure, I try new things. I put myself out there for new experiences. Yet, I also accept when they don’t work out how I’d planned.

My dream now is to experience things in life because I choose to, not because someone says, “Everybody’s doing it.”

One principle I learned from Punchinello has become my own personal mantra. In fact, it’s the “echo” that I want to send back to those who follow after me:

“The stickers only stick if you let them.”

Be the best YOU.

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