Credentials of a Father

I never knew my father. 

As a kid, I imagined him to be a brave soldier fighting enemies across the ocean (this was the late 1960s and the Vietnam War was in full force) or a firefighter who spent his days saving kittens and grandmothers from horrendous fires. 

But when I was older, my mother told me that my father had been a member of a notorious motorcycle gang in Philadelphia and that . . . well . . . she wasn’t sure exactly who he was. That’s the free-love mentality of the 1960s for you, and paternity validation remains a mystery to this day. Later, my formative years were marked by a few lousy stepfathers who I wouldn’t have trusted with my dog, let alone the title “Dad.” 

So, here it is, the month we celebrate Father’s Day. Sure, I could choose to ignore the day. Dismiss it as another irrelevant celebration. I mean, what’s Father’s Day without a father, right?

Actually, I disagree.

Fatherhood manifests in many forms outside of the 23 pairs of chromosomes that contribute to our biological identity.

As a small child, my cantankerous but big-hearted grandfather sat with me every week while we worked the Sunday paper word puzzles and read comics. I have fond memories of my Uncle Danny seating me in front of him on his motorcycle (no helmet laws back then) and taking me on rides around the block, my mother in full panic mode until I returned safely. The years passed and, at age 14, responsibility for me was dropped on the shoulders of a foster father who patiently helped to heal the nasty scars others had left on me.  

I could go on.

There were pastors and elderly mentors that surrounded me with love and disciplined me when I needed it (and I needed a LOT of discipline!). My father-in-law has remained a constant source of strength for me in the 30+ years my husband and I have been married. How blessed I was (and am) for these men in my life and, while I may never have called them “father,” they made the world a better place for me.

Biology and blood relations mean everything . . . and nothing, depending on who you ask. It’s what a man does, not who he is or what title he holds, that determines his worthiness to be held in esteem by the younger generation. Don’t you agree?

A father’s role (or a man who steps in to fill those shoes) includes being a provider, protector, disciplinarian, and so many other things that do not necessarily fall neatly under a biological contribution. They play a key role in a child’s physical and psychological well-being. 

A father figure nurtures, teaches, and leads by example. Fathers instill in their sons and daughters a sense of self-worth that those precious darlings will carry for the rest of their lives. There are the ones with a herculean determination that rise above abuses and absences and succeed despite monumental obstacles. But, sadly, some don’t. Some fall by the wayside and struggle at every turn. Research the statistics on prisoners that grew up without a father figure in their life and see how it affected their behavior and choices. An essential piece of their life was missing and someone or something had to fill that gap for them to feel whole.

YOU: Father, grandparent, big brother, uncle, teacher, coach, neighbor, etc., make a difference! And we honor you for it. This special day of remembrance—Father’s Day—is for all you contribute to those under your influence, both young and old. There are no other credentials required except the giving of yourself. Your effort to be involved, your financial support, your face in the crowd at the baseball games . . . it matters! 

And we are grateful to you.