Relationships
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Relationships & Commitment: Are You Ready?
I saw my phone light up with another text message from him. “Why can’t we get together Friday night?” he asked. I could feel my frustration level rising. I had already told him I was busy Friday. We’d hung out two days this week already and I wanted to go out of town with my girlfriends shopping this weekend. I didn’t feel obligated to explain that to him. I enjoyed our dates and talking on the phone but he was starting to encroach on more of my time and I wasn’t appreciating it. I hope this guy isn’t expecting more from this relationship than I want it to be… I…
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Surviving Thanksgiving: What I’ve Learned to Value Most This Time of Year
Thanksgiving never meant a whole lot to me growing up. Coming from a fractured home life and a broken family, holidays just weren’t a big deal. As a result, I entered my adult years lacking a treasure trove of memories to draw on to make them special for my own little family.My boys would bring little paper turkeys home from school that they had traced from their tiny hands and cardboard pilgrim puppets that had either lost a glued-on eye or been smashed when they shoved them in their backpacks. To me, every bent and crinkled offering was a priceless work of art that I proudly displayed around the house. I…
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Guys vs. Girls: How We Bond Differently
Men and women have very different ways of communicating and bonding. It’s been the subject of many published books, talk show topics, private diary entries, and even front-yard screaming matches between lovers. We can’t deny it – we are very different from each other. Maybe a little insight into our bonding styles will help us make peace with those differences. “Hear Me Out” (Reasons Why We Clash) Studies claim that men use an average of 12,000 words a day. Women tend to be closer to 14,000. I am beyond curious about how they came up with those averages. But I digress… A woman loves to communicate. Talking about things helps…
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The Devastation of Isolation
In the 1980s, the state of many Romanian orphanages–housing over 170,000 children–was exposed to the world with heartbreaking details of the horrors of neglect and isolation. Communist dictator, Nicolae Ceausescu, encouraged Romanians to increase the population in order to boost the economy. But the plan backfired as food and supplies needed for this increasing population were used, instead, to pay off the national debt. Desolate families turned their children over to state-run institutions where they were caged in cribs, locked in dark rooms, and cut off from nurturing or social interaction. Ceausescu was deposed and executed in 1989. But the damage had been done. The world got its first real…
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“Are You Even Listening?” (Being Present vs. Being Distracted)
I stared straight into my husband’s eyes while he shared about his frustrating work day. I nodded and I’m pretty sure my expression was properly fixed in “sympathy mode”. But, I wasn’t hearing a word he was saying – I wasn’t present at that moment. Predictably…he noticed. Sighing, he asked, “You don’t really care about this, do you?” I was stricken (and feeling incredibly guilty). My mind had been somewhere else – exploring mental galaxies outside of the one that I should have been sharing with my husband. This happens often, unfortunately. I know I’m not alone in this. In the chaotic, fast-paced life we lead, we are constantly in a…