Just for Fun
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What’s With All the Hot Sauce?
I’m about to either inspire a coming-together-of-wives or elicit an angry riot of husbands, but… How many bottles of hot sauce does one man need in the house? My husband, Andy, LOVES heat in his food–and I’m not talking about temperature. I mean, he wants the spicy heat to make him break out in a sweat. My darling will ask the waitress at a fully-authentic Mexican restaurant if the jalapeños they use in their burritos are fresh or the “weak pickled ones out of a can”. Even when he’s assured that the dish is guaranteed to leave him gasping for air, Andy will still ask, “Yeah, but, honestly, is it…
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Dear Walmart Greeter
Dear Walmart Greeter: I don’t know why folks—myself included—grumble and complain about stopping for you to check their bags as they leave Walmart. It’s store policy and you have a job to do. When I remind a student to take their hat off for class, put their cell phone away for the fifth time, and turn their camera on for our remote meeting, I understood what you face every day. We’re halfway through the school year and these students still don’t follow the rules. I guess we must seem like rebellious teenagers to you too. I mean, how do you even do it when seven people come at you with…
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A Day in the Life of a Sign Language Interpreter: Social Distancing
Never had to know how to use Zoom or Google Hangouts before? Virtual conferencing and video meetings with multiple participants a new thing for you? Well, you have two days to figure it out! Welcome to “Quarantine Interpreting” in the midst of the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic. I’m Regina and I’ll be your presenter for this session. (Go learn what that meaneth…) Our team of sign language interpreters met yesterday morning via Google Hangouts (a video conferencing program through G Suite) to practice using the platform. After a series of “So-and-so, could you please mute yourself? The kids hollering in the background is distracting” and “Why can’t I see myself? Where…
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Dear Starbucks Barista:
Dear Starbucks Barista: When I smiled at you over the cash register and gave you my drink order (along with an impulsive pastry purchase), I was honored that you asked what church I attend because you recognized that I always wear dresses when I drop in to work on my writing. You told me that you’re Pentecostal Apostolic too. How cool is that?! When I sat down and told my husband about our chat, he mentioned that the two of you have talked several times already about his favorite college football team: Ohio State Buckeyes (How did I miss these conversations?). I just died laughing when you walked over to…
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Halloween at the Middle School
This Thursday is Halloween. And that always makes things interesting in middle school. The students where I work will show up decked out in an interesting assortment of Halloween costumes—some delightfully creative (like the girl who designed her “shadow” that followed her around all day) while others are…well, disturbing. It always makes me grin to see a kid who is too cool to handle the dead butterfly in science or mess up his hair in Phys Ed transform himself into a cube-shaped Enderman from Minecraft which, according to the general consensus here at school, is no longer “cool” to play. A few of the students announced today that they’ll be…